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cravinghappiness
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Gender: Female
Interests: being 100 lbs. i hate food but love it at the same time. i just want to be....happy.
coffee, black stuff, music, dancing, diet coke, cigarrettes, sunglasses, admiring girls who are thin
19 yrs old livin in la. CW: ? HW: ? LW: 108 GW: 100
Expertise: being fat. but that will change.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  ask me for it i would love to get to know you :]
Member Since:
7/27/2005
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| i have 2 weeks to lose like 20 pounds, i know, it sounds impossible but i can make it happen. i basically have to starve so i can lose 10 pounds a week and i say this because it has been done before. im going back home for spring break and my parents expect me to be skinnier and im not doing it for them, but for me. i want this so bad for myself. i can never be happy until im my goal weight. being skinny has always been a dream, and its time that it become a reality. everything in my life would be perfect if i was skinny. it sounds stupid, but i know its true. i hate how people thing im "curvy" or normal, i get so pissed when they say that. i want to prove everyone wrong and i want to here "you're so skinny" come out of each and every mouth. why does starving have to be so hard? i want to kill myself for losing the willpower that i used to have before. i feel like now, i can't even lose that much weight and my body has given up on me. i really dont want to think thats true and i'm going to try to train my body back into its old condition.
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| did pretty well today. the weird thing is that im bloated and im not going to start my period soon. it should go away by tomorrow morning..i hope. im not gonna weigh myself until monday because it gets me too worried when i know my weight. i was looking at all my photos of skinny girls to motivate me and it totally did. tomorrow, another day.
intake:
-lowfat cottage cheese with a banana
-1 slice of wheat bread with a slice of bologna
-carrots with lowfat dressing
-100 calorie snack pack
exercise:
-45 min of cardio
-10 min of weights
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| i need ana more than anything right now. ive lost control and hope. im fat and angry because i miss the willpower i had with restricting food. im not going to fuck around anymore, its game time. i am so serious about losing weight. i want to be thin SO BAD. i want to be 100 pounds. im around 140 which means i have to lose 40 pounds and thats a shitload of weight but im going to do it no matter what it takes. two of my other friends are trying to lose weight and i feel like i have competition with them and my boyfriend isnt noticing that im losing weight but noticing my friends losing weight and its pissing me off. i want to prove everyone wrong and shove it in their faces that im better then them and have them worry about my health because to me, thats a dream come true. i want my mom to say "you need to eat more, you're too skinny" i hate myself i hate my body i hate life because of all the bullshit i have to go through. im going to lose 40 pounds so i can hurry up and get over this and be happy for once. its now or never.
intake:
-tuna with vegetables and a slice of wheat bread
-thai iced tea
-1 clementine
-small apple and stick of cheese
-little bag of cheez-its
exercise:
-45 min of cardio
-10 min of weights
i want her body.
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| i've been doing pretty well on my diet. i'm working out again and eating better and smaller. i leave for san francisco with my guy on tuesday and im hoping that i wont go crazy on food. traveling sucks when you're trying to lose weight..
Intake:
-regular vanilla ice blend from coffee bean
-tofu
-few spoonfuls of nutella
-apple
Exercise:
-50 min of cardio
-15 min of weights
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| finals have been killing me. i've been stressing and barely getting sleep and i feel really shitty but at the same time i think it helped me cause im so tired that i rather sleep than eat. I wasn't too strict on myself with my diet for the past few days because i needed the energy to work and stay up. but today was my last class and i didnt sleep last night so i wasn't in the mood to eat. i just had some black coffee our teacher gave us in the morning and i came home and knocked the fuck out. i woke up around 5 pm and took a shower and im not even hungry. i just had an apple and i think i dont need anything else. i love it!
Intake:
-1 cup of black coffee with splenda
-1 apple
Exercise: none
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